Anger management – Differentiating between good and bad anger

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Buddha

One of the most important things in everyday life situations that one needs to manage well and take controlling measures constantly, being vigilant about it, is anger. Anger may be defined as a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility. There are various reasons for a person to get angry including his own psychology. Also, anger may stem from the state of affairs that a person deals with in the aspects of his everyday life. One should know how to manage and control anger effectively if one wants to live life peacefully and happily. Hence the need of anger management.

Anger management is the process of learning to recognize signs that you’re becoming angry, and taking action to calm down and deal with the situation in a positive way. Anger management is training for temper control and is the skill of remaining calm. It has been described as deploying anger successfully. Some popular anger management techniques include relaxation techniques, cognitive restructuring, problem solving and improving communication strategies.

However, anger is a normal part of everyday life. Controlling anger is a challenging task, as it involves basically coming out of a particular mind frame that is developed in course of time due to environmental settings in which one passes one’s life. Controlling anger and making a distinction between a good and bad forms of anger is necessary to pass a peaceful and harmonious life.

Anger is good sometimes for so long as one deciphers it and controls accordingly one’s negative emotions that could cause impediments in way of success. A good form of anger is also helpful in rescuing others from the negative consequences of their actions. Similarly, a righteous anger which is used to direct the children towards learning good manners and etiquette and to improve the skills of interactions politely in social situations, is also to be regarded as good. Apart from these, having a good reason to be angry for self-protection and showing disagreement against an issue that jeopardizes one’s professional life is acceptable.

As regards the form of a bad anger, it is characterized by bad feeling and bad way of thinking. It is used to control and humiliate others just for the sake of maintaining superiority. Rather, it must be regarded as a destructive anger. Destructive anger creates a bad atmosphere inviting tensions, causing harm to others and resulting in the social disaster. It creates many health problems to the person who develops such sort of anger including head aches, stress, depression, high blood pressure etc. In worst cases, it becomes a great cause of sudden death due to sudden cardiac arrests associated with stressful situations that make a person angry.

There are situations in which it happens that a person may get angry and lose his or her control without considering its negative consequences.  In some worst cases, it leads to physical combat which is nothing but harming both parties.  What if a person who has the ability to hit another strong person and control his power, but is controlled by this emotion, anger-  and its power. Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry.”  It’s true that you get angry when you are frustrated or unhappy and when your feelings are hurt, but at the same time, you are able to control your anger on the basis of your positive attitude if you maintain it effectively at all times.

It’s important to adopt effective strategies to control your anger, as it leads to live a balanced and peaceful life. There is a lot of information in the form of books and the articles available on the internet to take benefit from that could be of great help for you in controlling your anger. However, one of the best and suggested ways of controlling your anger is to change the way of thinking, because the formation of different and pleasant thoughts at the same time when you are angry can cool you down quickly. Also, we should not forget the fact that life could be better without anger.

It must be borne in mind that anger is not at all an expression of strength, but it’s one’s inability to control one’s thoughts and emotions that lead to create harmful effects. It is not a sensible act, but foolish, as it goes in this saying, “Anger dwells in the bosom of fools.”

Written by:
K. A. Fareed (Fareed Siddiqui)
Writer, Trainer, Author, Blogger, Software Developer
BBA, MBA-Finance, MPhil-Financial Management, (PhD-Management)
MA-English, MPhil-English
Post Graduate Diploma in Computer Applications and Programming
Certificate course in English language proficiency
Level 1 – Leadership and Management ILM – UK
Pursuing CMA-USA
Individual Member of Institute of Management Consultants of India


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